Meet Roar. Today Was Her First Day of Kindergarten.

afraid for new things

Meet Roar.  Today was her first day of Kindergarten.  It was a very big deal and she was very scared.  There was no amount of bribery through friend making, fun having, adventures awaiting or snack partaking that was going to make it better.  So, I met her where she was at.

I held her hand and looked into her big gorgeous eyes.  And said, "I know baby.  It is scary to do this new thing called kindergarten, isn’t it? " 

She looked at me with crocodile tears and whispered… “I just can’t be brave today, Mama.  Not today.  I can’t.”

My heart choked.  But I spoke, “Oh, my Sweet.  I understand.  But you know what brave does?   Brave takes fear’s hand and says, we’ve got this.  You and me - we are bravery and fearful all wrapped up in Love.  Together.”  

“My Roar.  You can still be afraid.  And you can still be brave.  You can be both at the same time.  The secret is to feel both and still show up.  

Let’s show up today, baby.  And see what kindergarten has to offer.  And then.  When you have a baby girl (she wants nothing more than to be a mama).  We will show her this picture of your first day of school.  To let her know that when you show love to fear and hold on to bravery  -  showing up is possible.  And showing up becomes your superhero power.

I am not afraid

I dropped Roar off in her room.  It was scary.  For both of us.  She cried.  A lot.  The other kids looked at my little girl and wondered what was wrong with her.  The parents looked at my little girl and were grateful that wasn’t their kid.  A mess.  Just like me.  Only my mess was on the inside.

I had to go.  It was time.  They don’t let the parents stay.

So, I gave her one last hug.  One last kiss.  And reminded her that she had showed up.  And the rest would take care of itself.  And walked out the door.

My heart burst.  This was my baby.  And we had done a lot of work to get us to this day.  Would they love her?  Would they be gentle with her?  Would they see past her tears, and quirks and sass and really see My Roar?  

I worried and pleaded and begged of the gods not really about what the others will think of her... but how she will see herself through their eyes.

Please be kind to yourself.  
Please remember that we are all learning.  

Please remember that perfect is not real and real is not perfect.  

I was overcome. And so I talked to myself the way I speak to my Roar.  

Katie baby.  This is not your business.  Your baby is her own.  You can still be afraid.  And you can still be brave.  You can be both at the same time.  Remember to show love to your  fear, hold onto bravery and know that we are all wrapped up together in this kindergarten called life.  But the most important part is to show up.  

Show up, Katie baby.  The rest will take care of itself.



How did you and your babies get through the first day of school??  Write or comment and let us know.  We love knowing that in the hardness there is sweetness and we aren't alone!  

Sister Katherine  (who cries a lot at school time)